internetexplorers:

i wanna know which Jay-Z song was on at the party in the USA

foxnewsofficial:

one good way to make friends is to roll your eyes back into your head and scream I MUST FIND A MORE SUITABLE HOST BODY

foxnewsofficial:

if i was a delivery man i’d spend all day seeing how seductively i could say “i’ve got a big package for you” and get away with it 

egberts:

where can i buy that for free

paynenvy:

hahry:

should i do homework or burn my school

the first one sounds like a lot of work

(Source: taccone)

foxnewsofficial:

the main thing i look for in a girl is tumors, sometimes bullets. i’m a surgeon. 

clubpenguln:

Do old people prank call life alert